it's over for this

Ok, wanna announce and confess something here. I have PUT DOWN and LET IT GO!!! I have let go the feeling of dependence towards S. Is kinda relief, you know? When I realized I was some sorta depend spiritually on S, where S doesn't know that, until now I presume S doesn't know that. Again, is just a small glimpse (ok, this is quite a direct translation of 一线之差) from the feeling which I scared the most. I scared to put in feelings to people, the feeling mentioned here is like in terms of towards any gender. You get what I meant? That kind of like. That kind of feeling is the one I scared the most...I scared I misunderstand, I scared I will disappointed, I scared I will get hurt. and the most important, I am not interested, I maybe have that kind of feeling (I said MAYBE) but I am not interested in dealing with relationship. (In the end, I don't think you all understand what I am talking here, I think is kinda ironic...and contradictory...><) I won't want any feeling anymore until the end of my studies for Degree. Maybe I am pathetic...(==''') until I put in feelings to people that appeared to be my savior that time? Or I am a person who is 多情? (==''')

In dealing with this unsure feeling, I have been escaping and avoiding, however the more I was trying to escape, I have been even suffering and at last, after talked to someone who I think I can trust, I tried my best to face S. And yet, I still remember that I put my effort and my thinking into my stuffs, I made myself occupied enough to not to think too much. And somehow, I made it! The feeling is just faded...ya, is just faded, without I even realized.

Sometimes I have been thinking that, am I kinda person who is simple thinking or complicated? What I meant is, am I looked unpredictable?


So, I don't know whether there will be more "interesting" stories to tell...just check it out... This blog is meant for sentimental stuffs which means there will be other stuffs regarding feelings or thoughts that I won't put in very public place.