hard time

Felt something was not really right since yesterday morning. Why I need extra energy to breath smoothly? Only that time I realized that the short of breath symptom was getting serious. So what now? The symptom I scared the most is back.

In the afternoon, thought to lie down, hope can relieve, because i really don't know what I can do to relieve the condition. Who knows, when I try to sleep (hard to get to sleep is another problem, is not that I don't want to sleep, when is the time I suppose to sleep, I am hell energetic there, ended up force myself to sleep; until I really got asleep, I woke up AUTOMATICALLY later when is the time I supposed to wake up), I sweated heavily, even with the fan pointing at me...=.= So? Woke up with a dizzy head...DAMN it!!!

Thankfully, yesterday I was alone. Was very upset and down. At the same time, I thought I was under anger and frustration. Mixed feeling. I called (MSN-ing) a friend, let the friend be ZL. I am grateful that ZL accompanied me to talk to distract the unpleasant feelings, and listened to my problems. I know nobody can help, she said at least got somebody knows that and can offer help when something bad really happens. At 9pm something like that, the condition finally relieved a bit. But not totally. I really can't remember how I went through the whole afternoon. I guessed it had been a hard time for me, because I feel like I gonna cry that time.

This morning, after woke up, the feeling of suffocating continues, luckily is not as bad as yesterday's. Then, headache came after that...=.= Started to get fatigue...even I didn't do any sports, made me nearly roll down from the stairs. My friends said my face looked pale.

Come on, Ke Jun, be strong!!! You have not cry for that is a good start. Fight for that!!!