signal

那坚强，无所谓的样子要继续装出来吗? 我知道我的情况如果比起其他例如癌症的，是芝麻小事(神经病，你想要这么严重?)，但这么多年来的精神煎熬，整个人都好像麻木了. 如果没错，我这一辈子是要吃那荷尔蒙剂来维持荷尔蒙的水平. 虽然是那么小颗药丸，可是这一吃，就吃了八年; 说长不长，说短亦不短...

Since last week, the metabolic rate started to spiking up again!!! Under this hot weather, the condition somehow looks like getting serious, my body hot until I feel like I am having fever almost all the time, the palm is very hot, so to whole body, imagine the cold water I take bath with, I don't feel the water is cool anymore. Although I know drink icy water to cool down is not a very healthy way, but the heat in my body forced me to do so. If not, it will just reveal my bad temper...=.= Somehow, the disease I got taught me to be in nice temper and be patient. Before this, I still will have heavy meal for lunch, but not in nowadays... I really scared the heat will drive me crazy...especially working in the lab. Maybe my condition stated here is almost the same as everyone out there, as the weather now is so damn HOT!!! But...

I know my own body well. The endocrine system starts to mess up with me. The slight pain at my neck and uncomfortable condition I faced recently, are they trying to give me some sorta danger signal? I am actually still hoping the condition won't get worse. I know caffeine will further boost up metabolic rate, I already started de-caffeination since this week, however, the metabolic rate still very high... The most important is the pain and the still high metabolic rate and followed by fatigue not long after that are the signals? And if not very accurate menstruation period is counted as a symptom, ya, it also as a possible indication. As far as I know, doctor always ask is my menstruation period accurate. Could I just ignore those symptoms? I don't wish to visit doctor on my own again...Although I don't mind alone, just feel I am not strong enough to always face those on and off condition. I thought it can be cured and recover as soon as possible. Why? I remembered that I was very happy when the condition was getting better 2 weeks after the consultation and medication. Now 3 months gone, on the 3rd month, it starts to "haunt" me again. These symptoms, I am still observing the severity, I don't even think of telling my good friends too although they "warned" me to tell them if I feel anything wrong. I think I just take it on my own. I went for the routine checkup last week, the blood test result showed my hormone level for thyroid is within normal range, but I remembered what the specialist said, then I recalled the result that I got, is still in lower range of normal level. Is quite near to lower part. So, what now?

Another danger signal: short of breath... NOW...@@ I really need to take a rest...

I MUST be strong!!! No matter how...think positively...