cautious

Well, now, change feeling, change to another story.

Ever since had some sorta "silent fight", so called 冷战 by direct translation, I became even more cautious to the friend, let the friend be C here. Just don't know why, I think most probably is because C betrayed me before, even though C apologized, we became friends again, C always consider me as listener, then I listen. But then, the bond is not there. (Do I wish to have the bond-the bond of REAL friendship with C?!) I wrote some issues about C in another blog. However here, is mainly about my feelings, so, just talk about how I think and feel in this so called friendship. I don't like people 暗讽, especially C's tone, really felt annoyed. C somehow, sometimes really 换汤不换药, C's some attitude changed, but not all, especially those very annoying ones, still made people feel annoying and even feel that C was using certain kind of strategy to distract people's mind. I felt that too, so won't stand near C when there is test. I know C will try to distract my mind about the knowledge, about what I have studied.

Even now, still wanna try to distract people's mind by talking in the annoying way, asking am I prepared? As I may looked confident that day, or I looked cheerful that day. Like that also want to comment about it, I am speechless. And purposely talked that loud, until many people can hear, I hate that!!! (Ok, I know the voice is loud, I will try my best to ignore that.)

Now? Just act as normal, act as stupid as usual (sometimes I am indeed stupid ><) Trying my best to ignore those unnecessary and unhealthy talking.

Meditation...