desperation

再一次，我有想要逃避的念头，不论是对我现在的疲惫的生活或我现在面对的状况。上次说了要勇敢面对S, 但是不知何时，那念头又冒起了。我对单独这词更加地投入，更加地显现它。(什么烂华语? =.=)

好, 那事我暂时不描述，因为我知道我的念头只是一时的冲动。

Well, there is a bigger crisis happened on me recently. I don't know whether is because of the prescribed medication caused me got into this kind of health condition or I already in physically and mentally exhausted, (especially mentally). Fatigue is getting even serious, even I slept and rest a lot, the time I used to sleep and rest is far more than that I used for study purpose. Whenever I wanna concentrate to study, not long after that, I start to feel damn sleepy. What the hack?!

And also in a sudden, some sort of got into "silent fight" with a friend that is recently close with me. She actually doesn't know what is wrong in herself and so called indirectly hurt the friends around her. Ok, frankly to say that, I know I am not perfect, but I can be a good friend, All the while, I know she changed a lot from her bad attitudes and habits, however, there are some haven't and all this while, I have been bearing all those stuffs that hurting... Well, I got hurt, and choose to just kept silence but don't want to bother or talk to her since yesterday. Then she was like realized my actions and responses, and felt weird. She talked to her friends that also close to me in class. But I can guess she couldn't get an answer. She asked me about that yesterday but I refused to talk about that on that time, as it really will spoil my mood for preparing for test.

Ok, I am actually mentally tired...I am not ready for the "debating", can I just leave this case?