case solved?!

I have asked L to help me to tell S about my improved health condition (L willing to do so). Well, actually I was nervous about S's response after knowing this. Since don't know when, I refused to tell S about my getting worse condition. Last week, the regulatory and observation period passed and I shall see the effects of the prescribed medication. Somehow, it is doing well...^_^ So, I decided to tell S, at least I felt that S needs to know about this, since before this, it was like hanging there, S don't know the latter conditions. The most important thing is I just don't want to have anymore dependence feeling when I was in pain and getting worse period if I tell S.

On Tuesday, we had dinner in my room. Don't know why that day, I had my dinner in an extremely slow mode. And I clicked here, clicked there on my laptop, listening to songs, just to make up the mood to talk to her. When S asked to have dinner together the day before that, I felt something was "wrong", because S's habit is asking to join dinner on that day itself. I knew S sure will want to talk about that. Ya, I was right, S finished the dinner first then asked me for a talk. Suddenly my room became very quiet. Then S started the conversation, I continued the rest to tell S what happened. I am glad that S felt happy for me and understood my conditions. Somehow, I did feel relieved after telling S. (Another case solved)

Pain is almost gone totally. The swollen still there, so far I know that the swollen may not disappear, it might shrink only. But, just hope for the best... From this incident, we some sorta become better friends, the feeling is fading, because that day I chose to face S to talk about this.


To mention something here, the FYP (Final Year Project), make my life busy in this semester. It somehow make me organize my things better, make me organize my TIME better, make me occupied. I have less time to think too much, and the busyness of life after I started my FYP had slowly switch my dependence feeling away to non-living things. I wish to just throw all those unnecessary feelings to MS to be fragmented and just disappear, and won't want to have the McLafferty rearrangement, if not it will come back after rearranged...(talking craps again...=_=)

My life is better and happier compared to before this. Keep it up!!!