mess

I have been write and erase what I have written, write and erase, again and again...Just because I have no idea on how to start to write this post.

Now, I think I am in a mess. With the reason that I also don't know (or I just don't want to admit, but it just happened to be, it is telling me that: is time to release yourself, for whatever it is? No more suppressing my own feeling?), I feel like crying.

Lets analyze: 1. Pressure from studies? (who doesn't have?!); this sounds not really the reason...or maybe yes, because I think I feel the pressure, or I already immunized or numb to the pressure? 2. The on and off health condition after undergoing the treatment. 3. The so called fading feeling that I always say to myself? Well, of course, is fading or not, only I know it very well. Seriously, I really don't want to admit anything here...just, I scared...ok, temporarily just forget about this issue, like what I am doing now.

Ok, just a little mood swing, I think...I hope is just mood swing...