As I said in the semester break, I felt spiritual emptiness. And I said I can meet S again in my new semester. During the last 3 days of semester break, maybe I was enjoying for the trip in Penang, so I didn't feel that strong feeling of spiritual emptiness towards S. However, on Sunday, which is the end of my trip, got some sort of weird feeling arises. Before that, I actually thought that I lost that kind of dependence as I didn't feel like missing S.
These few days, met quite often with S. The feeling was arising again...I hate this feeling very much. Not to say purposely go and meet S (I am trying not to meet S without purpose), is actually bumped into it (with certain reason and purpose related), at least I need to make sure myself remain normal (for not to have spiritual dependence too much towards S) and rational for now.
Seriously, I still not sure that whether that feeling still present or not. I don't really dare to think and figure about it.
I had mood swing, impatience, great frustration yesterday. Then I wrote on the Facebook. I was actually touched when S concerned about that. (Craps, I must get rid of feel such feelings and write all those things on Facebook...maybe would make some people worry about me, sorry...I was trying to find a way to express my feelings that time, who knows I cause people worry about me). I don't know whether my condition improved or not, although S accompanied me to chat. Thanks to S for bearing my frustrated look (trying my best not to vent out that time), and not ignoring me, and willingly to help to relieve my frustration and bad mood although I didn't ask to.
Oh craps, am I in some kind of trouble now?!
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