My semester final is coming so soon. Normally the scene before the finals coming is everyone is looking, blaming, wondering their coursework marks for every subject. Of course, I won't be the unexceptable ones la...
However, until now, I only know two out of five subjects' coursework marks.>.<. One is quite satisfactory although not the one I want if compared to others. Really feel 不爽 and I know the person's tactic in getting so high marks for assignments, as I know the person is not really good. The other one, damn it, so low!!! I really no eye see that.>.<
The most confident subject, Physical Chemistry, the most ridiculous thing is I still don't know my coursework marks, in fact, nobody knows.
Actually, I am in between of wanna know and don't want to know my coursework marks. By the way, I wish it is as what I expected and not lower than it supposed to be la...if based on my effort and talent, it can't be lower than it should be.If not, I will be in sadness and regretful-ness and the most is I will be in "heart attack". Since I can't do anything after I know it ( even though mine is not as I expected ), so no point also for knowing it so late like that, destructing my mood only.
If I know mine, sure I want to know others. ( I am a "kiasu" person ), especially those I 不爽 to. If they get higher than me, I scared I will "lost control". So, I rather don't want to know.
当然我不能说我在化学科是很强的学生。但，至少在众多我所学的科目之中，化学是我最强，最拿手的科目。我当然不希望别人比我好。原谅我这自私的想法，因为难得“有机会出头”，你当然不想别人超越你。想象着，如果你被你不爽的人及你预想不到的人超越你，你会服气吗？答案当然是不会!!! 我会更拼，废话，这是当然的，及更偏激的，我会更虚伪地对待他们，来balance回自己。要不然，会与自己过意不去。请谅解我的心情，但别误解我的用词。
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
lost concentration
Recently I was so lost and blur. What am I bothering about?! I can't focus in my studies. I know I don't like particular section, am I trying to run away from that topic? Please, I need focus, please shift me back.
I don't want distraction.
I want focus.
FOCUS...
focus...
focus...!!!
I don't have any idea why I behave like that, why I feel like that. What am I bothering? What am I considering? What am I worrying?
Tell me,
tell me,
tell me...why?!
I don't want distraction.
I want focus.
FOCUS...
focus...
focus...!!!
I don't have any idea why I behave like that, why I feel like that. What am I bothering? What am I considering? What am I worrying?
Tell me,
tell me,
tell me...why?!
I am back
After abandoned it for so long, lastly I come back to face my own feeling. I was too busy to face my own feelings as I was too busy recently regarding homeworks. Reports, preparation for presentations, quizzes, tests. Lastly now I can sit and think deeply what have I lost in denying my own feelings. I have lots of feelings and wanna to express it out. But because of time constraint, now only I come back.
Sorry ya, blog. abandoned you for so long. So sorry.
Sorry ya, blog. abandoned you for so long. So sorry.
Friday, February 20, 2009
I am speechless for this
Today, my friend told me a big issue. A shocked ones and enough to make me feel speechless.
She told me that a friend of us told my friends in my group, ( the friend mentioned is from different group of practical, some more different tutor for different group ) that I taught the wrong thing. Their tutor said the calculation I guided them for the first experiment is wrong. She told them very loudly in blaming tone. She blamed me. I am not there that time, if not she won't dare to say so loud.
My friend, let her be S, before telling the issue, she asked me not to angry after knowing this. She said that time the friend who blamed me ( let her be M ) told this very loud. S heard. She felt very not worth for me and angry when M said so about this issue. She said she and her friends who has guided by me won't blame me for this. She said I had guided and helped them so much. If not me, they have been lost. Wah, feel touched. I feel paiseh la when she said that to me. Anyway, I am happy to know many people appreciate my help.
What can I say about this? Angry? I thought I will angry, but NO! But speechless, a terrible ones. I put in effort in searching information and tried my best in doing my best for my own report and help others if they asked to. What I get is this? I don't mind if others don't want accept the help or my points, but just please respect other people's effort. Stand in other people's shoes and think. I just feel very speechless.
I am ok now.
She told me that a friend of us told my friends in my group, ( the friend mentioned is from different group of practical, some more different tutor for different group ) that I taught the wrong thing. Their tutor said the calculation I guided them for the first experiment is wrong. She told them very loudly in blaming tone. She blamed me. I am not there that time, if not she won't dare to say so loud.
My friend, let her be S, before telling the issue, she asked me not to angry after knowing this. She said that time the friend who blamed me ( let her be M ) told this very loud. S heard. She felt very not worth for me and angry when M said so about this issue. She said she and her friends who has guided by me won't blame me for this. She said I had guided and helped them so much. If not me, they have been lost. Wah, feel touched. I feel paiseh la when she said that to me. Anyway, I am happy to know many people appreciate my help.
What can I say about this? Angry? I thought I will angry, but NO! But speechless, a terrible ones. I put in effort in searching information and tried my best in doing my best for my own report and help others if they asked to. What I get is this? I don't mind if others don't want accept the help or my points, but just please respect other people's effort. Stand in other people's shoes and think. I just feel very speechless.
I am ok now.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Best friend
I found this song is meaningful to me to express myself to my best friend. Here, I present to you.
I don't have to worry anymore, cause you will be by side when I cry
You always smile at me
I am blessed because you always shine before me
Things that we have missed hastily at time, that's the way it is
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
Your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
These plenty happiness that I felt at this moment
All the friends that I have here, you're the best present
I am blessed because you always be by our side
Surely things that I have accomplished here, those things too give me strength (change to strength)
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
All of your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
Things that we have missed hastily at time, that's the way it is
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
Your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
Always always always my Best Friend
I don't have to worry anymore, cause you will be by side when I cry
You always smile at me
I am blessed because you always shine before me
Things that we have missed hastily at time, that's the way it is
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
Your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
These plenty happiness that I felt at this moment
All the friends that I have here, you're the best present
I am blessed because you always be by our side
Surely things that I have accomplished here, those things too give me strength (change to strength)
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
All of your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
Things that we have missed hastily at time, that's the way it is
Faces that always being looked at
Forever hugging each other
Your smile has helped me endless time, you know
Thank you thank you Best Friend
Always always always my Best Friend
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
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