...

I feel helpless now...

HELPLESS

hectic

escape

loser

promises

loser

empty

suffering

speechless

Feelings and experiences

From the day I started to work as a temporary teacher, I got all sort of feelings. Happy, excited, disappointed, angry, mad, impatience, etc.

Happy:
I got to know many new colleagues and be friends. And can mix well with them. But not really with the old staffs. Maybe can chat a little bit but can't communicate very well because there is a barrier between generations.

Excited:
Being greeted as a teacher is a kind of exciting thing. The students greet in a nice manner and is respected by them.

Disappointed:
When what you planned and expected can't be reached in time. When you mark students' test papers.

Angry:
When your instructions and orders are not fulfilled or they just disobey you. Simply want to make you angry.

Mad:
When you meet with students that quite "stupid" and causing trouble only. They just want your attention and pretending they are innocent or stupid and make you explan again and again, gaining full attention from teacher. Some are really stupid. Stupid is not a fault, but they do not pay attention even I really teach them very seriously and patiently. Their attitude really make me lose patience and throw tantrum to the blackboard. They are delaying my teaching process. And another thing is they don't want to use brain when do homework. I can sure they actually understand and know how to do.

Impatience:
Facing the students that actually bullying teacher,really make me lose patience. I can say that I have good patience before this. But maybe not for now. I really tired to face all those annoying "features". Sometimes think of I can leave earlier from there. I am very tired for that.

Kursus Guru Sandaran Tidak Terlatih

今天早上，学校有补课，但不需去教书，而是出席由森州教育局主办，森州华校校长联谊会协办的“全森华校临时教师课程”，地点在芙蓉培华小学。
这课程主要由三位主讲人呈献。第一场的讲座由幽默的林渐溢校长主讲。他所讲的是教室管理。我赏识的是他呈献的方式，幽默，有趣。当然他讲的，我从中获益不少，有一些还必须马上实行。这其实很考验老师的技巧和EQ。我希望在我离开学校之前达到我所设定的目标。其实，要确保教学达到目标，最重要的还是教室管理。如果最基本的教室管理都管不好，别想在教学过程中达到所期望的效果。以目前的情况，我想我必须改善我所使用的教室管理了。
如果学生吵，
老师通常都会说：
不要吵！
不要再吵了！
anjing!
安静！
用藤鞭打桌子，
用藤鞭打黑板，
以自己的声量盖过学生们声音，...

结果...
更吵!!!
因为...内有
学生的吵声，
老师的叫喊声，
藤鞭，桌子和黑板的哭声掺杂在一起...

当然我使用的不完全是这样，但方法也不够好。最近使用的方法于他所说的相似，还真有点效果。哈哈
我对那讲座中最深刻的一句话是老师要使到学生期待老师来上课。我有做到吗？


第二场讲座是讲述教具的应用。我似乎用的好像是chalk and talk. 但也没什么问题呀...只是没我预想中的好效果而已。唉，要精了...制作道具...我想我想到方法了。省时又省精力。

第三场讲座：活泼教学示范. 老师的任务是把呆板的教学“变”成活的教学。这可使老师更加快达到教学的效果。唉，这需要时间。我已感觉时间不够用了...

怀念

今天回到我与你相聚的地方，
坐回我们平时坐的位子，
回想起与你在一起的时刻，
一起吃及畅谈，
在你还未出国之前，

今天与一位朋友去，
也许我与她蛮投契，
我们坐回那个位子，
令我又回想起很多很多，
回忆...

有点把她当成是你的"替身",

在找回那失去的感觉,

但愿我曾说过的一句话，

没伤害到她...

我在找那失去的感觉...

Loser with victory

Contradictory
Face it

Hate
Forget it

Disappointed
Don't be like that

Sad
Come on,cheer up...you are doing good

平常心

平常心
平常心
非常冷静
平静地
接受那残酷的事实

没有哭泣
没有抱在一起哭
没有做消极的事

以前的我不是这样的
没想到这次我会这么冷静
坦然面对一切
以平常心面对一切

the reflection

Is this what I got from my teaching? The upper standard like Standard 4 and 5, don't know what they did in the lower standard. Wasting the exam questions set for them. They don't know how to do and simply do it. So, when I marked the Standard 4 "Penulisan Bahasa Melayu", I can finish it in not than one hour. Because? They don't know how to do, some they tried, but cannot be read at all. Many students' exam papers just get slashed by me and get a big red "0". What I can do...I can just sigh. I forgot how is my feeling when the students' exam papers got slashed by me. Angry? Sad? Disapppointed? I think the feeling of disappointed is stronger.

Is my teaching not good enough? Am I not caring or attentive enough?

Would it be the reflection of how is my teaching? Or my students' bad results is not my fault at all.

What can I say is I am trying my best to help them improve their basic knowledge. However the response was making me greatly disappointed...
What can I do? Sad? Angry?

Tell me!!!

I just hope my teaching method won't be the excuse for other authorities on making trouble. I mean their children get bad results but suing me for my teaching method? I hope I won't meet this kind of trouble.