just a little bit unhappy

Things that will make me mad the most is quarreling with parents. Every time when start quarreling, will end with unhappily, in the sense of everyone won't give up scolding or prove themselves right (true fact for most of the quarrel, indeed) No one is that stupid that would give up, including me.

In one day, quarreled 2 times. First with dad, another one with mum. Both quarrels happened in less than 10 hours. Both talking the same thing, and I damn hate the way they talk. *Speechless*. Then the next quarrel, the same thing, happened again, I fought back. Don't every time talk to me in that kind of tone. Then after a half day, for a certain reason, one of my parents need to call me, the tone changed drastically. Conversation ended well.

In the pain, still need to raise the voice to argue, and in a good sense that, I can put off my irritation, of course telling them why I will behave so. In terms of mental status, at least I put off my irritation, In terms of physically, I may suffer a greater degree of pain, because of "shouting" a lot to the handset during quarreling...*Speechless again*.

irritation

Damn! Please, please help me get through it. I don't want to be in irritated condition. It might bring certain form of consequences if I am irritated. I might hurt people or myself.

Ok, irritation level is increasing. That's why I prefer to be alone and not to mix with other people in talking or having meal. Or before this, I may ask my friend to join, so that I can express myself, but then, I prefer to be alone.

Is grateful that people don't know that I am in pain and am bearing pain, however, irritation is quite obvious if someone really annoyed me. I just wish the irritation also don't show up so often. I really mean it, ok...I am not joking. If I am in irritation, I know I just can't do anything well, ended up screw up things...that's bad, right? (讲废话)

Come on, irritation, decrease your level, can? I am trying my best, so please, cooperate with me, ok?! I just don't want to spoil my day with irritation that might persist for whole day.

clash? crash? crush?

Ok, my mood for these few days, almost like the one sounded in title.

Seriously, I don't really enjoyed much for this CNY celebration. Well, and certainly not because of the duration of the holiday, not because of the weather, not really because I am over 20 years old now...whatever... All because of the pain that was started last Saturday. Ended on Wednesday. The thing is, I can feel that the pain haven't fully subsided yet, therefore, inflammation haven't really subsided yet. So how now? Ya, wait until it is getting worse. (And which means next time I would need steroid to make the inflammation subside? Oh, seems to be that way...)

About seeing a doctor, seems like the frequency of the recurrence of the inflammation caused me not to drag this matter anymore.

Ok, drag? Or no drag? My friend is offering herself to accompany me to see the doctor. That time, I was seriously no idea on why I said so...I said that I don't want to be alone to visit to the doctor anymore...(but every time I hid from my friends about this). And now, if anything is getting worse, I think I shall go alone, ya, to avoid my friend from worrying about me. Ish, I feel like drag until I completed my final semester. Can I? Can...can...can??? Am I able to bear that? Of course I need to know what is happening on me. I know the stress level is getting high, what I can do is just try not to be so stress. I suffer not much negative effects in terms of negative emotional changes, thank Him for that. The pain, I may looked ok, however, how far I can bear for it? I knew that the pain has somehow caused my face to be very "cool", my friends "teased" that my face expression is making people scared of me. As people always said, tolerance and patience has its limit. Well, I guess I have to find another way to drain off the effects that brought up by the increased stress level.

In a "conclusion", this CNY ain't bring much joy to me......WHATEVER!