wondering

有时候觉得，
我是很开心回到我曾任教的学校去看看，
我是很开心能遇见我的同事兼朋友，
但是...

但，
我总觉得好像不是很受欢迎，
有点阻着地球转, 妨碍他们,
在想，
是同事们都很忙?
还是实际上与其他的同事都不熟悉?
所以常去找的都是与自己相处的融洽的同事.
但却很受学生的欢迎.
学生看见我就会向我敬礼,
或来找我说话. ( 最感到欣慰的事 )

上次, 代替我的临教主动来与我说话，
( 我一直都没机会找她说话因为我教的课都是编排在后面的 )
哈哈,
她也一样, 教到一些学生教到要“吐血”了.
那些学生还是这么难搞吗?

Awesome performance

Yesterday ( 26/9 ), again a day with the same routine. ( I am not crapping here ), the thing is gonna to be posted, "listen" to me first.

At night, I called my teacher, my science teacher who taught me in F2 whether free to go for tea. ( She looked like more a friend than a teacher. ) Hehe... She asked me whether wanna watch a concert ( from dvd ). I immediately agreed. Prepare myself to go to her house. ( wait la, about to start it seriously ).

I watched the first piece ( song ), "Voices of Spring", nice ( but not my liking ). By the way, let me introduce the orchestra and the conductor ( or composer too? ) first. The conductor, Andre Rieu, with his orchestra, Strauss orchestra ( if I am not mistaken ). They play mainly the Waltz.

I like the performance. In addition with the sound effect, is just like watching the concert in live. Wow... The players do not being restricted in their clothes, well. overall, there is a common part, they wear gown ( not the same kind, same colour ) which make them looked gorgeous.

The special part about this conductor is he is quite humorous. His concert is not really formal, a bit informal, he arranges some humorous part to make people laugh, gives people a feeling of relaxation, not making the phenomenon so serious until not much smile. He always smile. Forgot to state that, he doesn't hold the baton, instead he plays the violin with his orchestra, and I really impressed with their accuracy in the beats. They do not run off the beat at all. Of course, there is an overall coordination among the conductor and his orchestra. His playing also good. And some of the members of the orchestra can even play more than two instruments. Some additional players like the marching band members, etc, ( which I also don't know what is the name of the instrument played ) also inserted in the encore songs. The players are awesome. Impressed...

What I can say is, different conductors has their own style of conducting their orchestra. We can't say much on their style, We accept and try to enjoy it. Anyway, I like the style. Make people feel relax.

I watched the second time today. Won't be boring for watching so many times.
Sorry here for my lack of nice or better words for description. I wish I can describe better. I also know that picture can bring more words.

Make it fixed

I have two blogs, One at MSN Live Spaces, another one is here. Well, in the beginning, these two blogs serve to publish different kinds of pieces from me. But as time goes, starts to mix up the types of pieces uploaded here. Because? Sometimes, certain piece wanna be uploaded at live spaces, but the service always lag that time. So, avoid of losing the piece ( can't save also that time, because every service is unavailable ), I paste it at blogspot. Totally mess up sometimes.

Well, get it reorganized. Live spaces is for more general idea, general feeling, crapping, nothing to hide, can be published to public, since many contacts there. Can link easily, pieces written cannot be too harsh or else. Need more gentle. Haha...swt. ( Generally )
Blogspot is more for close friends. ( former classmate, and others who I think can read it ) Pieces here are from my own sentimental feeling, opinion ( more crazy mind ), can "shoot" people, without others knowing who I am mentioning about ( haha=.=), etc...things that I don't want so many people know.( more to private but not confidential ). People who is "kaki blog" would have my blogspot address, those are not, won't have, I think.

I like to read other people's blogs too. Can keep myself update how is their life going on there. Sometimes can share some idea or opinion too.

Get it all right

This is the lyrics from the song entitled " Get it all right ". I like the lyrics, don't bother how it comes ( it is from the soundtrack "Initial D", the real meaning of the song of d story ), just understand and inspired by the words.

Get it all right
Don't wonder why
Even though troubles on the way
Get it all right
Don't hide away
Even though troubles on the way

Live for yourself
You can do what you want
Don't give up on your dreams
Better make it start
Open up your eyes
You will find your own way
Don't want you miss the sign
Life is like a trick or treat

Doesn't matter what people may say ( What they say )
No more live in chains
Hold your thoughts and you will be fine

Get it all right, Don't wonder why
Even though troubles on the way
Takes all night, make it all right
So come on now, ( whole ) world is waiting

Get it all right, Don't wonder why
Even though troubles on the way
Now or never, make it better
So come on now, ( whole ) world is waiting

Can't stop things we start
You have got to move on
Don't look back, Don't turn around
Better make it fast
When you lost in the dark
Try to remember when
You have a power to shine
Shining like the clear sky

May be it seems to be doing the same ( All the same )
Things over and over again
Sun comes up over your tears

time to be a bit relax

After studying for a few months, finally holidays comes. Well, 3 months holiday, a long holiday for me. Wondering why such a long holiday. I still don't have idea what to do yet. But part of it will be spending time with friends here. I really miss them. I miss my students. ( why suddenly feel so? )

Wanna spend some time to make self-criticism. What I have been done in these past few months? Have I really work hard and study hard? What attitude should I have for studies next year? Ya...I will take some time to look some science materials. Next year will also "touching" my favorite subject. Will go and tackle the old stuffs first. To refresh. I don't want "history" to be repeated, by my own action. Hope I will have strong determination during this holiday.

Well, of course, go relax, shopping (window-shopping ), blogging ( after been so long didn't update, because don't have such mood and vocabulary plus don't know how to express myself in better words ), read magazines, comics, watch movies, hanging out with my friends. I won't let myself go too far. Won't play and relax too much until "lost myself". Haha...don't get swt by my words.

self-accusation

I never think myself clever,
I work and study very hard,
what...
What I got in the end?

I got self-accusation,
I hate myself,
I hate the bad performance,
I hate my nervousness.
I hate, I hate , I hate it.

What happened to me?
Why I behaved like that?
Why I need to cry to relieve myself and regret what I have been through?
Why I did so?

I wish I could be strong enough to accept what I have done.
Am I being punished for being so rush to study in the last minute now (did I rush for last minute studying?)
Am I being punished for being my own psychological problem?
Am I being punished for having my own confidence in the subject I like and my own way in studying it?

I hate the ending!!!