阴晴不定

Kinda frustrated recently. Hopefully I won't get the reason right for the frustration. I lost my frustration to the room door, especially, and felt very annoyed of what I already felt annoyed to. However, I am kinda patient when I am driving, even more patient, which is surprising myself.

When I feel so frustrated and very emo, is surprising that the person I thought of is not that somebody, but Lord. I prayed. I did felt a little better after talked to Lord "in silence". Therefore I haven't lost my frustration to anyone yet, until got any complaint. However, I felt not very ok...

Well, is not that I am having PMS, and not emotional problem, I just feel annoyed and frustrated in a sudden, without I even can control and at last I noticed that.

Stop the crap, please...

想多了还是其实很复杂?

嗯，因为不愿意面对自己的感觉，又怕想得多会把它想成是真的，所以都没来这里抒发。

最近与他见面，我知道我是不喜欢也不习惯正眼对着别人说话。对着他说话，也是这样，虽然我猜想，也感觉到他对别人，对我说话时是正眼看着我的。我只是有时会与他对望一下，却让我看见让我舒服，让我感到可靠的微笑。嗯，可靠这词好像用得不对，怎么说呢，我想这不能以笔墨来形容吧，这是一种感觉，他的笑容总是能让我不拘谨自己的面孔，笑出来，因为我不怎么爱笑。

会想念那笑容，这代表什么?

我总是很调皮地与他讲话，好笑的是，我们都是用英语，有时掺掺来交谈。他总是会在每说完几句话就笑的，就是喜欢看他那笑容。

我喜欢, 现在其实在想那笑容。