说真的，曾经，一度怀疑自己对你的感觉...虽然，最后的那一次是半年前，而我也摆脱了那差点害惨我的感觉。就在大约一个月前，遇见了你，找到另外一种依靠，当时就快疯了，但仔细想，我似乎把他当成精神支柱，另外一个所谓心灵的代替者，那种精神支柱，至少我那时的情绪，心情得以解脱。
说真，对着你，我知道我的问题，我的情绪一定会好转，因为我把你当成了是神派来的使者，我也知道，我想我知道我是被考验着...
自己，不要再迷惑了...清醒...要清醒...
Sunday, June 26, 2011
dilemma...a great one
Well, was actually kinda in dilemma which nearly caused me lose concentration during work. Was kinda depressed because i still can't get the solution until now. I know that decisions, evaluations, considerations and deliberations is kinda much, and it is very important to not jump into conclusion so fast by only taking one side's opinions. Opinions are after all opinions, at last, the decision still on our own call, therefore, overall considerations with not affected by others is needed in final decision.
Currently am in a rubber factory be a lab assistant, doing QC work on rubber samples, either their own production or from other manufacturer. This can be considered a chemistry field. Well, seriously to say, the working environment I am facing now is not up to my expectation. Ok, just a little complaint from that. Seriously working life now, for now, can help me kill time, gain some pocket money, can help me by think deeply on my own interest. Instead of thinking of it at home and doing nothing at home, why not think about it during work, maybe I will have more inspiration on considering for every aspect. Plus I should not be choosy as a fresh graduate, try everything, everything will be new for me. Try to like my job, even though the working environment might not as what I expected.
For further studies, or continue working after my convocation...I have consulted from Him for this. To further studies, a lot of procedures need to be followed and not that easy to get that. Working...am I really going to work in rubber factory for long? How about other fields'? My friend told me that, I have to decide properly, think properly, and tell Him my thoughts then left this to Him to lead me to the way (if I am not mistaken or misunderstand the meaning). After this, just left Him to lead me and answer my prayer. Is it when I tell Him my decision, I shall not judge it and accept it? Ah, is so hard to express my dilemma now about passing my prayer to Him. I told this to my friend who is a Christian. Well, until now, I still haven't get my words organized and tell my friend the dilemma on this. About trusting and leave it to Him and to not judge, etc. Oh, headache...
My choice and field of interest for now is...pharmaceutical chemistry or technology, or drug design... Who knows later I might get interest in polymer chemistry...DILEMMA...
Currently am in a rubber factory be a lab assistant, doing QC work on rubber samples, either their own production or from other manufacturer. This can be considered a chemistry field. Well, seriously to say, the working environment I am facing now is not up to my expectation. Ok, just a little complaint from that. Seriously working life now, for now, can help me kill time, gain some pocket money, can help me by think deeply on my own interest. Instead of thinking of it at home and doing nothing at home, why not think about it during work, maybe I will have more inspiration on considering for every aspect. Plus I should not be choosy as a fresh graduate, try everything, everything will be new for me. Try to like my job, even though the working environment might not as what I expected.
For further studies, or continue working after my convocation...I have consulted from Him for this. To further studies, a lot of procedures need to be followed and not that easy to get that. Working...am I really going to work in rubber factory for long? How about other fields'? My friend told me that, I have to decide properly, think properly, and tell Him my thoughts then left this to Him to lead me to the way (if I am not mistaken or misunderstand the meaning). After this, just left Him to lead me and answer my prayer. Is it when I tell Him my decision, I shall not judge it and accept it? Ah, is so hard to express my dilemma now about passing my prayer to Him. I told this to my friend who is a Christian. Well, until now, I still haven't get my words organized and tell my friend the dilemma on this. About trusting and leave it to Him and to not judge, etc. Oh, headache...
My choice and field of interest for now is...pharmaceutical chemistry or technology, or drug design... Who knows later I might get interest in polymer chemistry...DILEMMA...
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