lyrics

I found this song is quite suit my condition recently. Just to dedicate to anyone.



Translation of lyrics: Doubt and Trust

Without sight of the end, I run on
Towards the shapeless peace in the distance

A glimpse confines me and leaves me in loneliness

The sky greets those who fly
I don’t fear being controlled

The dazzling brightness that I aspire for
is to change everything

I cannot forgive anyone, where can I go?

Out of the light
Is born the darkest shadow
As lies obscure the truth
Deception pierces our souls
We may never break through this endless night
But that tiny, selfish dream remains that we'll see another morning

If we can just accept our sins, and the pain they bring

A voice whispers, “I want everything”

Without catching up to the things that I’m losing

My fingers that yearn for the rest don’t notice the coldness

If you left behind love, then it stayed on my lips

Only light gives birth to darkness
Warmth accumulates doubt and make its way to my thoughts
That which I vowed in my chest that crossed with yours
Doesn’t mind the eternal scar and carves into me

Before it disappears in the crevice that time constructs

Out of the light
Is born the darkest shadow
As lies obscure the truth
Deception pierces our souls
We may never break through this endless night
But that tiny, selfish dream remains that we'll see another morning

If we can just accept our sins, and the pain they bring

feelings that shouldn't have

I am confused now...

I shouldn't have this feeling towards this person. I SHOULD NOT HAVE IT!!! I may ruin myself and the person as well. Or just I think too much,
Or I am just too helpful. 出于好心,而不是有意思...

嗯,I think I just think too much recently, because I still not really occupied with works. I wanna to be really occupied. Ok la, I just think too much...

feeling

You all can consider this as a created story or true story. Two characters here, K and Q.

Suddenly felt not really in the right sense and right feeling. K shouldn't have such kind of feeling now. That kind of feeling was just irritated and make K confused. Again, after one period of time, it just come back again? K was very confused.

Went to Q's house. K was just want to test the feeling towards Q. K only realized, this feeling is not true. How relief K was... But K still scared, scared if the feeling is really true but K was just ignored own feeling that time.

K always thought to protect Q. K felt happy to do so, felt like having the responsibility. Felt like finding chance to meet Q. K can be as happy as K could be to not make Q worry. K would try to let Q express the problems faced. K helped Q as much as K could be. K is sad if can't help Q. K wanna Q felt she has the protection. But K was so scared to let Q know that kind of feeling. K also just could't let Q know.

K decided to just let it be...

finding

Not really in the right mood recently. My mind kept on distracted. My mind is blur literally. Don't really wanna think something. Don't really wanna do thinkings.

Get irritated and lose temper easily...
Not really smooth in some physically and chemically activities...

When is these situations gonna end?
I want to have clear and peace mind.

Hope everything will be better.

my thoughts

After I got my Year 1 Semester 2 final result, I was happy because I have improved compared to first semester's.

The most disappointed thing is, I don't know this consider disappointed or sad or else, I knew I couldn't finish the paper that day, I have realized what would be happened to my results. That moment, I just hope I won't get a C for chemistry. My hard work and my talent is going to be considered as wastage if I got a C. I knew I studied hard, I should deserved better even though I couldn't finish the paper. I was totally disappointed because I know I could't get an A for chemistry on that day after times up. So sad that time. But based on my talent and ability, I shall get a B. A B- to me, is quite hurt. Maybe I am just not really hardworking enough. I can just think like that to let myself feel not so guilty and continue to disappointed.

Now, no more chemistry-based subjects, but related to a bit theory from chemistry. Hope I can "transform" my love to biology subjects. Let it be balanced. I must let the interests be counterbalanced. I shall do this better.